Jul 2, 2008

And now, the rest of the story

To all the sweet folks who have emailed or called -- John is fine, he's not dead. Sorry to get everyone concerned. Yesterday, it was all I could do to get the pictures up. Today, I've added some commentary and now, the fuller story. My hope in sharing it is not to impinge on anyone's dignity, but to share with the people who love our family -- all of it -- and seek their prayers and support.

Ever since our move, just one year ago, John has been slowly sliding downhill. We've struggled as a household over issues of rent, medication, family connectedness, and other things. By April, we all knew that a change was coming. It's been a difficult decision, and as a wise friend surmised, even more difficult thing to carry out. Yesterday was so depressing in so many ways, as we packed up the things which we'd accumulated during our 6 years of common life -- his NBA and UK posters, his pictures of JFK and Jesus, his Ghanaian shadowbox (which my family compiled for him), his clothes. I cried several times, especially when I came across his Christmas stocking, which I made for him for him in 2002, our first Christmas together.

John has many decisions to make now, some of which will be difficult. It's hard to know how to feel. Could we have been more faithful? How do we avoid vilifying ourselves, or him, in an attempt to ease the grief we feel? How do we trust God to care for us in this time?



Janet said...

I think you all went well above and beyond. Sometimes things just need to change. Do not feel guilty. He is in a FAR better place than he would have been had you and Billy not been there for him for the last 6 years. Everything will work out. Hugs to all of you.

lara said...

oh maria, i am crying with you. i know how hard it is, yet how necessary. our thoughts and prayers are with ya'll.

lara said...

you have been meme'd